Just had the heart-breaking experience of saying goodbye to some of the best people in the world. University is splitting us up, several of us are off tomorrow… and these guys are the funniest, loveliest, sweetest, cleverest, craziest, kindest, coolest people i’ve ever met, and I LOVE them ALL and they are the BEST friends i’ve had in my life.
And I was SO sure I wasn’t going to cry, and it didn’t feel real at all, it felt like a big joke and we’d still be meeting at that old cafe in town for milkshake and hot chocolate and porridge tomorrow, and we were hugging, and saying goodbye, and it didn’t hit me. And then one of my friends started walking away. And suddenly I was sobbing like these giant ugly grimacing sobs complete with bountiful nose- and mascara-running.
I feel like my heart is being stamped on. I feel like there are a million things I’ve left unsaid.
Um. How exactly are you meant to cope with this?
{image via we heart it}
Francesca Woodman committed suicide in a dramatic way, it was romantic with a capital R. With a history of depression, she threw herself out of a New York loft window at the ripe old age of 22.
Before that, though, she took some breathtaking photographs. The interplay of light and the way her subjects fade into nothingness. They play with your pre-conceptions, picking out slivers of your ideas, half-snatched memories, made unfamiliar by her twitchy, twisting renderings, made dreamlike and a little frightening… A shivery kind of gorgeous.
After a long, loooong blogging holiday, I’m going to post again. goodness knows if I’ll manage to keep it up this time, but I’ve kind of missed it, and missed you lovely people.
Here’s the last six months of my life in six bullet points:
- I took my a-levels. It was stressful but also, in a twisted way, a bit fun.
- I turned eighteen and had a big party with tents, bunting, dressing up and dancing in the rain.
- I went to france for three weeks, including a stop at Paris to catch the last day of the tour de france (I have NEVER screamed so loud. I was getting the most dirty looks from these americans and italians wearing louis vuitton pumps and carrying prada, but that didn’t stop me yelling at the top of my lungs ‘GO CAVENDISH GO COLUMBIA YOU’VE GOT THIRTY SECONDS HURRY UP COLUMBIAAAA.’) We also wandered round the Place Vendôme, and had dinner in Le Marais. Good to be home.
- I worked a lot and spent all my money on clothes and magazines
- I went to split, croatia, with twelve friends. we stayed in two apartments. we cooked, went sight-seeing, took a trip to an island, wrote a brilliant journal, swam in the sea, drank cocktails and partied till five on the beach. It was really, really good.
- I got three As and a distinction in my A-levels (I was so shocked I was numb for days, and the best reaction my family could get out of me when they asked if I was pleased was a sort of twisted grimace.) I’m going to Warwick! I’ve bought a laptop. I’ve got tea-towels, washing powder, forks; and I’m collecting recipes. I think I’m excited, but at the same time I’m so nervous you wouldn’t believe. My heart keeps going all thumpy and bumpy. Turns out i’m a hyperventilator.
I’ve got a BILLION photos to share with you, including some new polaroids. But for today I’ll warm up gently and do the links thing.
Looking for recipes I just stumbled over 101 cookbooks. Turns out the writer Heidi Swanson is a photographer too. Did you all know about her already?
Love you all!
Although I knew about Joules clothing before, I never knew they did such lovely dresses until Miel et Cannelle mentioned them. Now, I SO want one.
THAT one, there, with the brown belt and the gorgeous florals…
I mean, really, how cute are those? And when the models look like they’re having such fun in them, that pretty much sells anything to me. I think the British are very good at looking like they’re really loving just wearing their clothes. Boden, Toast… and now Joules. Not fair.
Adieu tristesse
Bonjour tristesse
Tu es inscrite dans les lignes du plafond
Tu es inscrite dans les yeux que j’aime
Tu n’es pas tout a fait la misère
Car les lèvres les plus pauvres te dénoncent
Par un sourire
Bonjour tristesse
Amour des corps aimables
Puissance de l’amour
Dont l’amabilité surgit
Comme un monstre sans corps
Téte désappointée
Tristesse beau visage.- P. ÉLUARD
La vie immédiate
{image from here}
Sooo… tired… Saturday night was my friends annual Corndon Cottage birthday sleepover. I’ve had the privilege of going twice now and OH MY it is SO gorgeous… This little tiny cottage with no electricity, just gaslights and wood-burners, and a dormitory with loads of ancient sagging mattresses and lumpy pillows, in the middle of absolutely nowhere. I don’t know who it actually belongs to, but it’s lent out to scouts and groups like that. It was the most beautiful, beautiful night, completely clear, and we had a bonfire and the stars were massive and piercingly bright. And I was with a big bunch of fantastic, hilarious, and dear dear friends.
So I started going to sleep at, what, five in the morning?
For some reason, these pictures seem just… heaven, at the moment:
{all images via we heart it – sorry, lazy I know}
Sometimes, I wish that we could all change our names whenever we liked, to whatever we liked, without going through anything expensive or complicated like deed poll… in the past I would have been Mirium, Genvieve, Naomi – all sorts.
I guess having a blog is like having your own little world. Over which you have complete control. So, inspired by Spring and new beginnings and things, I’ve been playing around with titles and looks. I may or may not be finished. Any advice would be fantastic – is the jolly sparrow better, or fishing for beautiful? Should I change the header or keep it? Etc etc.
Thanks for your patience.
I am on my own in the house at the moment, Mum and Dad being away on holiday – and it is BRILL. I can eat what I want, play the music I want, watch what TV I want. Sure, the novelty wears off a bit when you have to do all the dishwashers and all the other million household jobs, and you can’t get lifts anywhere… but I’m looking on the bright side!
Today I went food shopping and bought all my favourite foods: veg for a stir-fry, kabanos, marshmallows, soya milk for lattes, pierogi… YUM. It’s so nice going round the shops and just picking whatever you feel like.
Now I’m going to have a bit of a go at my french coursework, then make my stir-fry, watch the end of my DVD (Elizabeth: The Golden Age – fanTAStic) and hopefully get an early night.
I’ll leave you with a bit of eye-candy to get you through the rest of the week:
Something about musicians, no? Photo from here.
Well – everything is beginning to take shape… University and all. Edinburgh said a resounding NO to the two courses I applied for there (both of which, by the way, I was overqualified for) but Warwick said yes. I’m kind of chuffed because Warwick is known for being cutting edge and interesting – employers love you if you’ve got a degree there – and I was so worried that I’d really messed up in the interview. So, I’m beginning to be excited! I’ll have to work my socks off to get there though. And there’s one down-side to the whole thing: the campus is a concrete hole, in the middle of nowhere. I’m going to be spending three years in an environment which is totally visually uninspiring, surrounded by students the whole time. Oh well! I can cope! Nearby is Warwick, of course, and that has a lovely castle – and Stratford is about half an hour away – brilliant! Warwick’s links with RSC are good, so I’d get to watch top plays for a fiver.
Here is today’s inspiration – because it was fantastically, beautifully sunny and Springish:
These are all by Yvette Inufio. Gorgeous, aren’t they?
I love love love these sexy black-and-white photos by Bruce Davidson:
They’re documenting a Brooklyn gang in the late ’50s. Very cool indeed, in my humble opinion.
